Self-Control
by Clara Barton
Summary: You are the single greatest challenge to my self control since I was a teenager fighting Treize. A very different kind of 2x5 fic for Day 4 of 31 Days of Smut. For AnnoyingLittleTwit
A/N: The original request, from Annoying Little Twit, was for a voyeur Wufei who watched Duo masturbating - with Duo completely aware. We actually came up with this idea while messaging on tumblr about Wufei the Voyeur. To clarify, this is different from the OTHER Voyeur!Wufei request I had, which is still on the list!

A/N 2: I live for reviews. Even if it's just "loved it" - every review makes my day and inspires me to write more.

A/N: A special and enormous thanks to Maevemauvaise who, in addition to exchanging all caps frantic typing with me is taking on the dubious honor of beta reading for me. THANK you so much.

Warnings: angst, language, smut

Pairings: 2x?, 5x?

 _March 4: Self-Control_

8:15

He was late.

Wufei hated being late - had, in fact, developed a reputation for being annoyingly punctual among his fellow Preventers. Wufei had the uncanny knack of showing up early for _everything_ , even when meetings were called at the last minute or their location changed without public announcement - Wufei found his way there. Early. Heero had even started to purposely mis-label conference room locations in an effort to throw off Wufei, and much to Heero's chagrin and Trowa's sideline amusement, the tactics hadn't worked.

Of course, a two hour performance review that turned into _four_ wasted hours of arguing, meant that Wufei was, for once, late.

Late and in a foul mood.

He had known he would be - had known that sitting in a room for two hours, listening to fat, complacent bureaucrats list all the ways _he_ could be doing a better, more effective, more PR-friendly job at keeping _them_ safe would result in a simmering rage that would boil over if he didn't make an effort to calm himself.

He had _planned_ to go to the gym after. Had planned to run or swim or at least work on a few katas. _Something_ to center his mind and his body and purge himself of the rage.

But, of course, he had also planned on the review lasting the two hours for which it had been scheduled. Not four. Not four fucking hours of his life that had been uselessly, carelessly misspent listening to men and women wearing uniforms they hadn't fought for, hadn't bled for tell _him_ , a man who had lost _everything_ and _everyone_ that perhaps he needed more training before a promotion.

A promotion. As if Wufei cared about a promotion.

Although, if he were honest with himself, he did.

He cared about a promotion as much as he cared about being on time for things - respect. A promotion meant those civilians acknowledged his skills and his ability and gave him what he was _owed_. A four hour lecture on how to not be so intimidating to colonial administrators? He didn't need that.

What he needed, Wufei thought with a tired, angry sigh, was a shower and a meal and maybe a drink.

But it was 8:15.

When he arrived at the apartment he unlocked it cautiously.

The living room was empty, the vid screen off, the apartment silent.

He toed off his shoes and hung up his jacket.

The kitchen was empty, the lights off, the sink clean.

His bedroom door was, as always, closed. The other bedroom door, however, was half open.

Wufei could see the glow of a lamp in the room, the warm spill of light on the carpet beckoning him closer.

His tongue suddenly felt thick in his mouth.

He stepped into the room, surveyed the scene before him, and all of the anger vibrating through his body shifted, twisted into an entirely different emotion.

There was an empty chair less than two feet from the foot of the bed.

Wufei walked over and sat down in it and surveyed the man sitting on the edge of the bed.

He was naked, his lean body on full display for Wufei and while that wasn't unusual, while Wufei had seen his body so many times now it was as familiar to him as his own, there was something different. The man was blindfolded, a thick black cloth wrapped around his eyes that covered most of his forehead and folded just over the tip of his nose.

"Fei?" The nickname was soft, hesitant.

"Were you expecting someone else?" The question, the idea, sent a hot spear of anger and disgust through his gut.

"No, no. Just - wanted to make sure it was you."

The assurance had Wufei easing back in his chair, resting his shoulders against the back and spreading his legs.

The motion bumped his knees against the man's own naked ones and he smirked and bumped them back.

Wufei had to roll his eyes at that, at the smirk and the childish gesture, but he kept his legs in place.

"You're late. I thought - I thought maybe you had something better to do."

Wufei felt his heart pound at the words, at the _tone_.

His need to reach out and touch the man, to assure him that there was _nothing_ better he had to do than this, was profound.

Instead, he bunched his hands into fists and held them rigidly against his side.

"You aren't even hard," he said instead.

The man shifted, his smirk giving way to a slight frown and his shoulders drooping slightly.

"I was thirty minutes ago," he said, his voice petulant.

Wufei nodded, but he realized the man couldn't see the gesture.

"I apologize. I was… detained for longer than necessary."

"Performance review go that well?"

"I'd rather not discuss it. Not here, not - not when you should be doing other things, Maxwell."

The man smirked again, that cocky tilt of his lips that Wufei hated, had hated since the first time he saw it as a fifteen year old.

" _You_ should be doing other things too, Fei." Duo spread his legs wider, giving Wufei an unimpeded view of his soft cock and heavy scrotum, surrounded by coarse, dark curls that made Wufei's mouth water.

"No," Wufei said and shook his head. "That's not how this works."

"Yeah. I know." Duo's voice was gruff, disappointed.

The first time had been an accident. Well, if not truly an accident, it had at least not been planned on Wufei's part.

It had been the middle of the night and Wufei had risen to get a glass of water, had heard labored breathing and grunts from Duo's room and, thinking his roommate was in the grip of a nightmare, had opened the door to see if he could wake him.

But Duo had been awake. Had been awake and naked and he very clearly wasn't having a nightmare despite the fact that his eyes were screwed shut, one hand clutching his sheets while the other, barely illuminated in the glow of the too bright streetlights, frantically worked over his cock.

Wufei had been transfixed by the sight, had been unable to move, barely able to even breathe.

His arousal had felt like a molten weight, dragging him down and swallowing his entire body, his own cock swelling painfully, tenting the front of his pants and staining them embarrassingly as he stood and watched.

Duo writhed on the bed, hips thrusting up, back arching, feet digging into the mattress and when he came, when spurts of semen shot from his cock to decorate his taut body, when he shuddered and groaned and fell back, spent and nearly lifeless, Wufei had moaned.

He had clapped a hand to his mouth, his face burning in shame, his erect cock leaking and aching, and Duo had snapped on his bedside lamp immediately.

"Fei?"

Duo's hair was a mess, sleep-tousled, strands free from his braid and wildly curling about his face and body. And his body - cum was illuminated on his torso, dripping down his chest and belly as he sat up and Wufei's eyes had been fixed, unable to look away from the slow downward progress. Unable to meet Duo's eyes.

And then Wufei had pulled himself together, had drawn a deep breath, shook his head in the only apology he could think to offer, and left the room.

The next day, at work, Duo sat beside him in the commissary and acting as if nothing untoward had happened the night before, he made the same lewd jokes he always did, shoved his elbow into Wufei's side in jest as usual, rolled his eyes at Wufei's sarcasm and smirked in response like he had since he was fifteen. Nothing had changed.

But that night, when they walked into the living room, Duo had thrown his arms around Wufei and tried to kiss him. Wufei had shoved him away in shock and Duo had looked first hurt, then furious.

"I - not like this," Wufei had said. He couldn't explain it to Duo, couldn't put into words just how he felt and what he thought when he looked at the other man's body, when he closed his eyes and pictured his body curved in ecstasy.

"Then how?"

"Let me watch you."

Duo had frowned, had scowled, had stared at Wufei until Wufei felt his face burn and until he felt his shame turn to anger at Duo's judgement - at his own weakness.

But then Duo had nodded and stepped away, had slowly, teasingly stripped down in front of Wufei.

"Like this?"

Wufei had been breathless at the sight of Duo's body, at this first unhindered glimpse of his pale, scarred flesh.

He had nodded and Duo had smirked, slow and sensual and it was the only smirk of his that Wufei didn't hate.

That time, the second time, Duo had leaned back against the couch and when he brought himself off he had licked his hand cleaned, had even offered Wufei a taste and when Wufei turned him down, shrugged and sucked on the rejected finger as though it was a special treat.

After that - after that it had become a ritual. Not daily, their schedules didn't align often enough for that, but with a frequency that made it feel routine for Wufei.

Wake up. Morning Ablutions. Breakfast. Go to work. Lunch. More mindless work. Leave work at last. The gym. Dinner. Go home. Watch Duo masturabte. Go to sleep.

And each time, Duo tried to get him involved, invited Wufei's touch, begged for his approval, but he never threw himself at Wufei again, never forced him.

It was clear Duo didn't understand it - why Wufei wouldn't participate even though Wufei's traitorous body gave clear evidence that he wanted to, that he was _desperate_ to - but Duo didn't question him.

Tonight, though, tonight Wufei had been late and Duo was clearly on edge over that, clearly needed something from Wufei to feel that this game still had value.

"Why the blindfold?"

"You don't like it?" Duo's hands moved instantly.

"I didn't say that." Duo's hands dropped back to his sides.

He shrugged.

"I just thought… maybe you just don't want me to see you enjoy it?"

Oh.

"Duo I never touch myself. Not in front of you, not in private."

Even with the blindfold covering so much of his face, Duo's expression of shock was easy to read.

"Why - why the hell not? Do you - you do have sex with people though, right? People you like? Just not me, but - you _do_ have sex, right?"

Wufei shook his head, then realized Duo still couldn't see him.

"No. I don't."

"But… you can, or - shit, Wufei," Duo shoved the blindfold up onto his crown and blinked owlishly at Wufei for a moment. "Did something happen to you? Do you have a condition or -"

Wufei held up a hand to halt Duo's questions.

"There is nothing wrong with me, Maxwell. I simply prefer to have complete control over my body. I refuse to give in to something as base and primitive and _carnal_ as physical passion."

Duo frowned.

"But you get turned on - I've seen your cock practically begging for it, 'Fei. I've seen you leaking all over yourself."

Wufei flushed at the words, at the reminders that as much as he wanted to control himself, he could not. He inclined his head in agreement.

"So why not get off - why not just - just let _me_ get you off if you don't want to touch yourself."

Wufei shook his head.

"No. I might not be able to control my erections or my body's efforts to provide lubrication but I _can_ control my hands. I can resist the temptation."

"The temptation?"

Wufei nodded.

"You are the single greatest challenge to my self control since I was a teenager fighting Treize."

"I, uh, thanks I guess?" Duo scratched at the back of his head. "This whole time - I figured for sure you were going back to your room and getting off."

Wufei shook his head.

"Jesus, man. I don't think I could do it. Not get off - ever? Have you - have you _ever_ done it? Like, do you _know_ what you're missing out on?"

"I don't need to experience something to know it is wrong."

"Yeah but -"

"I've never died before yet I know it is something I have no interest in. I've never had leprosy but I know it is something I absolutely do not want. I've never been a parent and I know I will never, ever want to be one."

"Okay, but all of those things are like, really bad. I'm talking about an orgasm, Fei. It's -"

"Maxwell, I will not allow my body to control me. If I am unable to deny myself in this then I will lack all self-control, all ability to overcome the challenges I face."

"So this - every night you watch me get off - you're testing yourself?"

Wufei nodded.

"And I - what? You think I'm some of kind of base, primitive carnal beast who just thinks about fucking his own hand all of the time?" There was more than a fair amount of anger in Duo's voice.

Wufei sighed.

"No. I think you are a sexual being, I think you find that giving yourself pleasure makes it easy for you to fight your demons. While for me, I have to deny myself pleasure to keep them at bay."

"Huh."

It was clear Duo had not considered it from that perspective.

"Okay."

Duo shrugged one shoulder and his sensual smirk reappeared on his face.

"But you realize I think about you when I do it, right? I think about you touching me, fucking me."

Wufei felt his blood pulse at the words, at the heat in Duo's eyes. His attraction to Duo was magnetic, unstoppable.

He arched an eyebrow and Duo took it as a gesture of encouragement.

"You remember that first night, when you walked in on me?"

Wufei nodded.

"I was thinking about you then. I was thinking about how good it would feel to be in bed with you."

Duo's pupils were dilated and even though he was keeping up a constant stream of words, he sounded a little breathless.

His chest and face were slightly flushed, his brown nipples slowly hardening and his soft cock growing.

Wufei felt his own cock throb, felt the flesh start to rebel against his iron will.

"I think about your hands on my body," Duo said and demonstrated, running both hands across his chest, over his belly and down his thighs, raking his skin with his short nails, leaving a trail of red.

Wufei could _taste_ his pulse, could feel the pounding of his heart against his sternum.

Duo spread his legs wide and moved his hands to his groin. He cupped his scrotum and gently massaged himself.

"I think about your mouth, too, Fei. I think about that sneer you always wear. I think about your lips and your teeth and I think about your mouth on my skin. Would you be gentle? Or would you be as brutal to me as you are to yourself?"

Duo looked at him, not waiting for a response so much as considering.

"Brutal," he decided. "You would punish my flesh with _too_ much attention, wouldn't you? You'd probably bite me. Probably mark me so that I'd have a reminder of just how _carnal_ I am."

Duo turned his head to the side and lifted one shoulder. Wufei watched the other man open his mouth and sink his teeth into the tender flesh, lips pulled back and his teeth bared as he bit himself.

Wufei drew in a quivering breath. He wanted to push Duo's head away. He wanted to replace Duo's mouth with his own. He wanted to taste him. Wanted to feel the soft, delicate silk of his skin. Wanted to feel the blood moving just under the surface.

Duo straightened up and Wufei gasped at the sight of his red, swollen shoulder, at the white indentions of teeth marks. Duo had bitten himself _hard_. It would bruise. It would throb and ache and it would be there for weeks.

"Duo."

The man's blue eyes were a little wild, unfocused with lust and pain and his chest rose and fell in heavy, uneven breaths.

"Do the other side."

Wufei never told him what to do, never did more than sit back and watch, no matter how many times Duo had tried to invite his touch or his guidance.

Duo sucked in a deep breath and turned his head to the other side. He licked the skin first, then kissed it, his lips lingering in a caress that Wufei could too easily imagine on his own body. He wanted Duo's mouth on him, wanted those wide smirking lips choking around his cock.

Duo bit down again and Wufei had to grip the edge of his chair to hold his himself in place, to keep his hands from straying to his own cock or Duo's.

Duo.

His cock was fully erect, even without any attention, even now that Duo had abandoned fondling his scrotum. The elegant, gentle curve bounced as Duo moved, as he twisted his head closer to his shoulder.

When he lifted his head again, Duo's shoulders matched, the abused flesh bright red and mottled pink, though only the second shoulder still bore the white marks of his teeth.

Duo leaned back, holding himself upright with shaking hands, his chest heaving in exertion.

"Your fingers are as cruel as your mouth, I bet," Duo panted.

Wufei nodded sharply in agreement and Duo smirked.

He raised one hand from the bed and ran it over his chest, stopping at his left nipple. He quirked an eyebrow and Wufei nodded again.

Duo pulled at the small nub, extending it out from his flat chest and then rolling it between his fingers for a moment before pinching it.

Wufei saw him wince, saw him bite his lower lip.

"Harder."

Duo grunted but he obeyed, pulling and pinching at the nipple until he finally had to release it, finally gave in to the pain he felt.

He repeated the torture on the other side and Wufei shifted his legs, squeezing his thighs together instead of letting them fall open, instead of reaching for the fly of his trousers and releasing his erection, instead of thrusting into his hand the way he had seen Duo do, instead of joining him on the bed.

Duo released his nipple and he looked at Wufei, from his eyes to his bulging crotch and back again.

"I wish I could just _see_ it, Fei."

Wufei had to arch an eyebrow.

"You're the one who had himself blindfolded when I came in here."

Duo's lips twisted.

"That's true. C'mon. You worried that you won't be able to resist touching yourself if it's right there, staring you in the face?"

He was, actually, but it was impossible to let Duo's challenge stand.

With an aggravated sigh, Wufei stood and slowly, deliberately trying to touch himself as little as possible, unfastened his belt and then his trouser fly. He pushed the trousers and his briefs down to his calves and then sat back down.

He didn't bother to look down at his own erection - he knew all too well how it betrayed him - but instead he met Duo's ravenous gaze and raised an eyebrow.

"Satisfied?"

Duo nodded eagerly and his right hand strayed to his own cock, absentmindedly stroking himself while he looked at Wufei.

"Don't suppose you'd let me have a taste?"

" _No_."

Duo grinned and shrugged.

"I had to try."

He moved his other hand back to his nipples, alternating between the two, pinching and pulling until his chest was red, the brown nubs red and swollen.

Soon, Duo started to work his cock with more purpose, his ragged breathing at odds with his firm, steady grip.

Wufei let his eyes feast on Duo, on the way his thigh muscles seemed to jump with each twist of his wrist, on his heaving chest, on his wild eyes and wet lips, on his pink shoulders and red nipples. He wondered if they would bruise too, wondered just how many souvenirs Duo would have after this.

Wufei could feel a dull, insistent pressure building in his loins. His persistent arousal demanded attention, demanded satisfaction, and Wufei had to grit his teeth and dig his nails into the chair to fight off his desire.

Duo was thrusting into his own hand now, hips jerking up to meet his hand, his movements so erratic and frenzied that he was having trouble keeping upright.

"Lay down," Wufei commanded.

Duo gratefully fell backwards onto the bed and spread his legs wide, bending his knees for purchase.

From this angle, Wufei could see the curve of Duo's ass, the dark ring of his anus and he wondered - Duo had never fingered himself before. Usually just sat or laid down in front of Wufei and jerked himself off, usually in silence, sometimes with teasing invitations to touch him, to fuck him.

He wanted to see Duo finger himself. Wanted to see Duo impaled on something even bigger - something that Duo would have to struggle to take into his body, something that would make him wince and cry out and beg.

Wufei's thighs quivered, he was squeezing them together so hard and he momentarily glanced down at his own cock.

He never paid it much attention, never touched it except to piss and perfunctorily wash it.

It, he couldn't help but think, would be perfect for fucking Duo's tight ass. He could so clearly imagine it, could practically _feels_ his hands on Duo's hips, shoving him down, lifting him up and then shoving him down again.

On the bed, Duo made a noise, a low, animal kean and Wufei knew he was close.

It would be so easy, so very easy to reach down and take his cock in hand. Even easier to walk over to the bed, to turn Duo's head to the side and ram it into his throat. Or into his ass.

Wufei felt desperation claw into his lustful thoughts. So easy. And so good. It would feel _so_ good to finally find release. So good to pound away his frustrations from that four hour review, from the daily irritations, from his _entire life_. Duo's body was there, open and inviting and _begging_ for Wufei to use it.

"Ah - Fei - Fei I want to see your face when I come. Please, Fei, I'm close."

Wufei kicked off his trousers and briefs and stood. He walked over to the side of the bed and looked down at Duo, stood close enough to the bed that his thighs were pressed against the mattress and his cock rested on the bed, inches away from Duo's wide eyes and open mouth.

"Oh my god. Fei. Oh Fei _please_ let me -"

"No," Wufei said his voice far firmer than his conviction.

Duo stared at his cock and licked his lips and moaned.

His hands were moving so fast, the muscles in his forearms straining, his hips arching off the bed.

Wufei ignored the friction of the bedspread under his cock, against his scrotum. He ignored his desire to thrust forward, just an inch, just _one inch_ against Duo's lips. He ignored the ache, the pain of his swollen cock and he focused entirely on Duo as the man finally came.

"Arhh!" Duo shouted, hips thrust forward in one last, powerful gesture as he came. Cum landed on his belly, his chest, as Duo continued to stroke his cock, continued to moan.

Wufei found himself actually bending, found his head lowering almost to Duo's belly before he realized what he was doing and stopped himself. He _needed_ to taste Duo's cum.

"Oh my fucking God, Fei." Duo ran his hands over his face. "I can't fucking breathe. That was amazing. That was - oh fuck, Fei. Fuck that was good."

It was - it had been. Wufei had never seen Duo so lost in passion before, so wild and uncontrolled and _begging_ him.

And Wufei had never been so close to giving in before, either. Never found himself so desperate to touch, to taste. Had never felt himself burn with need quite like this.

Even now, even as he watched Duo come back to himself, watched the steady rise and fall of his chest and the way he stretched his lean body in contentment, Wufei's erection remained.

"What if," Duo asked and Wufei looked back at his face. "What if I hold completely still - I promise I won't move at all - won't try anything - but what if I hold completely still and open my mouth. Would you put your cock in it?"

The suggestion sent Wufei's heart into a delirious, thundering beat.

He closed his eyes and shook his head. No. No that was too much - there was no way he would be able to resist that, no way he would be able to stay still when surrounded by the wet heat of Duo's mouth.

"Do this for me and I'll do anything you want me to - anything to myself next time."

"Anything?" Wufei asked, unable to keep his tone disinterested as he thought about impaling Duo on something again.

Duo nodded enthusiastically.

"Anything."

It was a dangerous promise to make, but then, Duo lived dangerously.

"Not tonight," Wufei decided. He felt too raw, too frayed and too in doubt of himself.

Duo's lips turned downwards into a pout.

"Tomorrow?" He asked, his voice low, a needy scrape.

Tomorrow. What was tomorrow? Thursday. Wufei wondered if he would be able to leave early - if he would be able to go to that store he had seen downtown, if he would be able to find something to his tastes to use as his _anything_ on Maxwell.

"Tomorrow," he agreed.

Duo grinned, self-satisfied and sated and he stretched again.

The motion seemed to remind him that he was covered in his own semen. He reached down and scooped up a fingerfull.

He offered it to Wufei, who gave him a quelling look.

Duo just grinned again and sucked his finger clean before returning it to his body and scooping up more.

Wufei watched Duo clean himself, the actions doing nothing to abate his erection.

"What happens," Duo asked when he was finished, when he was once again reclining on his back and his eyes glued to Wufei's cock, "when you break? What happens when you finally let me touch you?"

"I think you mean _if_ and even so it's a useless hypothetical."

"You're that sure of your self-control?"

"No," Wufei said simply. He wasn't. He was filled with doubt that ached almost as much as his cock. It gnawed at him, whispered to him, reminded him of his failures.

Something in Duo's vision shifted, the teasing grin fading to be replaced by a serious expression.

"I don't want to break you," he admitted softly. "Just -"

"Just push me to the edge of a cliff and see what happens?"

Duo chuckled, the sound dark and rusty.

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's it. You don't mind?"

"No," Wufei admitted. "I - I need it."

Duo closed his eyes and nodded.

"Me too."

-o-

Endnote: Hey! If you're enjoying the 31 Days of Smut, or just my writing in general, check out the ebook I published on Amazon it's cheap (or free if you have Kindle Unlimited) and super smutty. It's Ponyboy by C. Barton.


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